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2018 -2022 Dudley Mental Health Diary

My name is Daniel Dudley. I am from, Stoke-On-Trent, England. I have lived in Stoke all of my life, I went to a special school called Coppice School I was in the army cadets to build on my skill’s and to make friend’s also to build my confidence.

I have got which is a learning difficulty that involves

difficulty reading due to problems identifying speech sounds and learning how they relate to letters and words (decoding). Also called reading disability, dyslexia affects areas of the brain that process language. I’ve also got learning difficulties and mild ADHD and mild Autism symptoms I also have mild bipolar symptoms.

Back in 2009 I left School to go to Martac, is a college to help you to get a job and lead to a job. After time they told me to go Newcastle Under Lyme College to try and work on my basic skill’s like reading and spelling, I started in 2011 & 2012 I had to leave because of my age. But I still wanted to make or try to make my basic skill’s better so back in 2012, I join a online class called learndirect they helped and I seen I was still bad at reading and spelling back in 2012 I went back to College again part-time and they told me I am at the point where I can’t get any better.

I was going thought a point in my life where I feeling hopeless and had nothing to work for in my life. So I wanted to get in the TA (Territorial Army) I was learning to drive for the job and was working to lose weight. I got to a point where I had to meet people and I had to do a test with reading map’s and basic skill’s and they said I’m a very hard good worker and would be good in the TA but sadly I couldn’t keep up with the other’s, If I did get in the Army my learning difficulty would slow the other down.

I had to still think of my life and what I could get out of it. I started to play video game’s more than normal and when I was stuck on mission’s I looked on youtube, On one mission I couldn’t find anything all over the internet and I thought it was a hard mission I completed the mission by myself with friend’s and my sister’s help. So I thought about making a video on how to do the mission, So I found out on the internet how to make a youtube channel and how to record gameplay off an Xbox I had to get a gaming capture card. I made this video and used Windows Movie Maker and I was using headphones and a microphone that was on the headphones, also had my friends and sister talking in the video to help me. We as a team worked together we helped people on the mission and the comments were so good and people asked for more. We thought to name the channel Bounty HunterGamer’s because the first mission video was on a Bounty Hunt mission and there was more than one gamer in the video’s and we were still doing video’s my sister got a job and she was slowing me down with going away from gaming and my friends were also slowing me down going away from gaming to take care of there family and work.

I started to make gameplay video’s just myself to keep the channel going I started to play league of legends (LoL). One of my fans told me about Twitch TV and I looked it up and I learned I had the stuff I need to stream,

I fount out Twitch TV is a Live Streaming platform for gamers to stream to there fans. I made a video to tell people I am starting to do daily stream’s over on twitch and stop daily gameplay and only do weekly video’s from my stream’s. I started to live stream daily only at 9 am till 5 pm I seen the growth of my online profile for Bounty Huntergamer’s I started looking up stuff through the night to make thing’s better, I started to re-think of the name because it’s only me working on the channel now I was doing everything like video editing commenting, I re-named my channel to Hardworkergamer because I thought I work hard for my channel and I am one gamer So I made a Facebook page and a Twitter, I read and I knew I was not making a lot of money and to keep the stuff I needed to keep my channel going I had to have a job.

So in 2012 and 2013 I started to work part-time for two local football teams called Stoke City FC and Port Vale FC and on Saturday for Delta Force Paintball South Manchester as a Steward.

I was dating someone and it was going good, I also passed my driving test in 2014 and the weather was bad and there was snow and 3 day’s after I passed my driving test when I picked my dad up we had a car accident at Chesterton hitting black ice. That sadly knocked my confidence and well I was waiting for the police to get back to me I stopped driving for 4 weeks

my mum told me I need to get back in the car, So I got back in the car and done the Pass Plus class that helped me to get back in the car I lost my girlfriend thought this stress after passing my pass plus I gone out and got my own first car in my name I payed out for everything and sadly the car only lasted for 2 year’s after I learned alot on the car and trying to keep it on the road and work on her and when I was going from my weekly shop my car stopped working

and I had to have help off my mum & dad to get a new car.

I star

ted to re-think of my streaming I started to stream from daily to weekly only Friday’s and I only edited video’s Sunday’s and posted video’s on Monday. Then I got a full-time night shift job at a local warehouse in 2014 and my nan dies on the same day as I started my job. I had just one day off. I thought if I have more then one day off I would lose my job so I just worked through and just forgot about it. My

sister lost her Boyfriend after been in the relationship for 6 year’s and she lost her job to mental health and at the same time my mum was getting very unwell and as a family,

we had to work together to help her through everyday life. I was just thinking of my family and job before myself, I had to leave the 3 part-time job’s I had because of my night job and my mum. I started to stream at weekend and edited my videos on my phone on my lunch break well at work and when I

have done I posted it only Monday. I started to watch video blogger and photography and this YouTuber he started as a gamer then moved to video blogging and photography and he made me think of it. I was still talking to my fans and was talking about making weekly video blogs and all of them would like it. and I started to learn about video

blogging and photography by watching video’s when I can. I started looking at camera’s and started to use my phone to video blog daily well I was driving and I called time with Daniel well driving to work, I started to post the video un-edited to my channel. I knew Friday’s is my day off work and I had all day to go place’s and to do my photography, I started to see I was getting stressed with working 5 day’s a week night’s and helping my mum and doing youtube so I started to use photography and in 2015 I got my first camera and it was good for video blogging and a good starter camera for photographing I was using Friday to get away from all

The str

esses of my life and with working night’s Friday was my first day off. I started to not sleep Friday’s so I have all day to do stuff in. I was starting to travel more and see some nice place’s

and making friend’s, with driving It was easier to move and see places in England, I started to video blog my travel’s in 2016 I got a editing laptop to use to editing for my photo’s and youtube video’s, I also started to build my first gaming computer

and I was getting the top end kit for it. I was still streaming but only on Saturday’s I started to play World of Warcraft (WoW) and I got an email from youtube telling me I have hit 1,000 subscribers and was getting a play button. I was slowly moving from gaming to daily video blogging. My old fans were loving seen my life and I starting to get invites to go place’s with friend’s for photography and gaming, my confidence was getting better again and I started to be more confident in life and started to take risks and in 2016 I paid off my parents for my car and I started to look to do work on my car.

2 day’s after

I had another car accident coming home from work I hit some ice and hit the other car. I had to again ask my mum and dad for money to get my own 3th car.

This started to play on my mind and I started to think life was against me and I thought I was not getting anywhere in my job and I was overthinking a lot of stuff I was a cleaner the job was easy and I was watching and learning what the other’s was doing and working on. I knew what to do in cleaning so I was just doing my job and still watching and asking others on how to do stuff. Time to time my boss asked me to do more than cleaning I started doing more than what I was asked, in 2016 and 2017 my supervisor asked me if I world like to move over fully from cleaning to an operative I asked my boss and he sa

id do I think I can do it right and fast. and I said yes. I was slowly learning a lot more, I was also going to new place’s in the warehouse I was so willing to learn and I just kept learning. Sometime’s when I was at home I was thinking what my boss meant and I thought he thought I should be there and I was slowing the team down and, I started to lose sleep over it. I was also asking people if I was doing my job right, and sometimes my supervisor and the people I was car sharing with and I was thinking people was against me and I stopped worrying about how I was doing at work. The people I was car sharing with started to ask what is wong and I didn’t know what to say. They told my supervisor and he said the same “what is wong” I said nothing and he said leave home at home and work at work and man up. Or you will go back to cleaning. I didn’t what to go back so I just worked harder and faster and the supervisor said I never said go faster you are better then this. He gone to the boss and spoke about it and my boss had me after work and asked what is going on you are better then this. I am just stressed and he said you have nothing to be stressed about and you just a worker and left. I didn’t know what to do and just did what I was doing anyway and just forget it all and just work and hard. I started to puss myself way from the people at work and just work and get somewhere. I seen people going somewhere when they started after me and this made it harder for me to think and work good. I was starting to think I am just going to be the same all of my life there. I started to puss my friend’s and family away. I was starting to cry over nothing and be angry over nothing I was losing interest in everything I like and learning new stuff.

In 2017 I started to feel lonely and I felt fed up all the time and time to time I just wanted to cry and end it all (my life), I also thought people were talking about me! I also thought I was doing my job wrong, I was still doing streaming weekly daily video blogging and weekly trips with my camera and I wanted to start an Instagram to share my photo’s on the first of the year (01/01/17) I started to send my best photo’s to my mobile phone to upload at midnight to Instagram, I was losing interest in everything I am doing, and all my hobbies was feeling like I was doing it like a job. I have seen my sister and my mum going

thought their mental health and I thought I was doing ok. My friend’s and work friends were saying I need to talk to the doctor! I thought nothing of it and just kept going and working, Someday’s I felt like a zombie just going thought life and having no feeling, One point I was just going home and drinking from 7 am till 11 am and going bed and just back to work, Sometime’s I was just sleeping then waking up going in the car park up safe and sleep in the car, and back to work. I was even going to work 2 or 4 hours early so I can sleep and get away from the family. I was slowly stopping streaming weekly to never and slowly never posting daily video blog’s and weekly trips were going down to nothing or just a trip for somewhere to sleep. I still thought I was ok and I didn’t what to lose my job and my boss had in again to ask what is wrong? This time he and other’s was worried about my mental health. He said I am not myself and I seem like I am upset all the time? I didn’t say anything and he said you should have a week off. I had a week off and gone to Liverpool to take photo’s by myself, I didn’t even tell no one wher

e I was going and just sleeping in my car and my mum kept calling me and I never picked up. I just needed the time and I thought I will be fine, In this week I never gone on the social media and youtube, I made a video on Friday like video blog saying I am coming away from daily video blog’s just weekly video blogs and no longer streaming and I told them it’s becoming to feel like a job, not a hobby, And my fans understand but they said they are worried about me. So I thought of what my work friend’s and my boss and friend’s and family said too and I thought it was work and I quit and gone to Scotland to do my photographing,

I came back was luck HR whated to talk to me and ask me what is going on in my life and she/he understood what is going on and he/she spoke to the nigh boss and I got my job back, At this point in my life, I just wanted to die so I was drinking every time I can and taking tablet’s and cutting myself and oversleeping and living rough and not even seen my family. I felt like I was just working all the time not having no time to myself!

So 08/05/18 I was back at work and still living rough and none of my family or friend’s knew I was close to losing

my job. I got to my work’s car park 2 hours early and I couldn’t self-harm no-more and I drove off the car park and drove to Talke Road over the A500 and I walked up to the side and climb over the side and I was thinking to jump there this man who stopped my from jumping he called for police and ambulance and when we were waiting he told me a story about himself and he told me he is an ambulance driver and he was driving home from his shift and he just called his boss to come, But the police were here before because some driver’s and people who was coming home seen me on the wrong

side of the bridge to jump and they called the police and when I got over to the other side before the ambulance got there I saw a lot of cars and people watching and got there phone’s out! I didn’t know any of them. I had to go heartlands what is a hospital to keep people safe thought the dark mental health time’s

I got told I had a mental breakdown and I will need tablet’s to calm myself down, Thay asked do I drink daily I said no but they knew I was lying by how I looked and they asked if I was living rough and again I said no they knew I was again lying. A policeman who knew my family was there to help me and I didn’t know and he left when I had my test and he has gone to my family home and told my parents I am safe and what happened my dad said he is going but police said I don’t what no-one there, So after 3 week’s I called my dad and we spoke and I told him what happened from start to end.

I still was on social media and for 10 weeks I wasn’t talking and was getting mail from fan’s asking how I am and my sister was keeping an eye on my social media and she told everybody my story and even made a video for youtube, my following started to go down but the real follower’s stayed and wanted me to get better.

05/10/18 My sister showed me to TikTok and I started to share my feeling’s on there and in time I shared my story. The main goal for TikTok is to help myself thought my feeling’s. I gone back to work night’s I moved to noon’s back to working as a cleaner I was growing on TikTok and I thought posting a video on my story on youtube will help me and might help other’s I found a group on Facebook for Men’s Mentel health what is called men unite®

and I started talking and opening up on there. I was also getting back on track in my life. I started to see there was not a lot of video’s online about mental health and then I started to post my real story where I can, there was not a lot of people butting their mental health story online. After a bit, I saw a video from a big youtube who showed them braking down at a football game and that helped me a lot I left a comm

ent and they saw my video and started to share my video on their social media. Then other YouTuber’s shared my video and said I am one of the first to share my mental health story on youtube and then many more started to shared their real life. Some of them started to say their online camera life is fake and the real-life is at the other side of the camera and the anxiety symptoms and what might other’s say and think of them and what the fans what from them. Living as an online star can be stressful and day by day you don’t have time for yourself fan’s started to say you are a YouTuber you only post videos might be one or more a day. Youtuber’s said yes but you don’t see what we have to do. For just one video we have to recorded it think of what to do and be fake happy for you. In time this helps people who don’t record or stream to see youtube like a job and how stressful it is to be a Youtuber. Youtube was starting to but stuff in place to help YouTuber’s! Before they were just for the watcher’s first.

In 2019 I was coming back to what I was doing before all the bad happen in my life I started to streaming daily in the morning and at night posting photo’s to Instagram and doing daily video blog’s going to work, but was taking it a little easier. My mum decided to have people come in to help her and that will keep the stress for the family down, I was at work and taking the bin’s out my sister called me on my mobile phone first I left the phone in my locker and she had to call work and my team leader picked up and he said she was close to crying and she told him I need to go home and call her, I called her and my mum was asleep and the ambulance staff had to keep my mum asleep and she said dad is also coming home so I knew by that it’s bad and she said her brothers will be down Friday and my auntie is coming too. She told me to go the hospital and she will stay home and she said dad and auntie will meet you

there. Dad never left her side and she never woke up.

on 05/08/19 sadly we lost my mum and once again I lost all hope and I didn’t know what to do with myself. I started doing what I did last time and but I pulled myself out fast by talking to my family and making video’s on what is going on.

I started to re-think my online profile and started to delete my channel’s and keeping the one’s what are new, The only thing I keeper is Instagram and Twitch.TV and re-made a new youtube channel and started to post all my video’s to one channel re-posted my story started to make Facebook, Twitter and made this website, and now I am re-starting my life. I lost my job before the lockdown and thought the lockdown I thought of my life and what to do next. and here we are. Now you are up to date on my life I will be doing daily or weekly blog’s on my life.

After losing everything in 2019 I wanted to rebuild my name back up from nothing again I also lost all of my passwords to everything I had told people I am doing a re-start to my social media and I started on Twitter and I asked all the following to follow me on Twitter so I can see who is still live follower’s. Then I made Facebook fan page with Instagram and with keeping open Dudley’s Eye/Dudley’s Art on Instagram, I used Twitter to keep people up to date on what is going on. I also keeper open MenMatter and just re-named to SafeHaven only on TikTok I made a other TikTop have fun. Twitch.TV and re-named it to Dudley’s Gaming and I made a new youtube channel and name it to Dudley’s gaming.

I am using Dudley’s Gaming so it’s easier for me to remember and other’s and it goes with Dudley’s Eye & Dudley’s Art and it my family name it’s my last name.

My main goal for re-coming back to social media is to re-brand what I am here for. After losing everything like my mum and having this mental breakdown showed me I have one life, I have also learned I can be safe today and tomorrow might not be. and that made me think of my life. My goal is to make a name of Dudley’s Gaming/Eye/Art on social media. When I can and where I can I will share my story so mental health will never go back to how it was.

Thought the 2020 Lockdown UK, I was talking to my dad and sister and telling them what I am thinking of doing, They both said it’s a good thing and I should do it. So from that I asked my dad to see if everything I say is ok. and asked my sister to help me on the social media and we as a family now work together to help SafeHaven grow and on the front, I am by myself growing Dudley’s Gaming and DanielDudleyUK so when people look for me it will show DanielDudleyUK first before Dudley’s Gaming/art/eye and safe haven is just somewhere I can share my mental health and so people can chat safe. On the social media, people thought I was not doing anything for more than 10 week’s and after the lockdown, I told people what is going on and people loved it and told me well done.

I only wish someone who I follow shared their story before I had my breakdown. But I will not be where I am right now in my life. I will be happy if my story help’s just some people!

Some people still think Mental Health is a weakness and should be not spoken and them people might read something like this and might help them come out and talk.

If we as people stand or just talk we are making it easier to talk about mental health. I have made a Facebook group called SafeHaven and it open to any members and any age we all are welcome. Or if you what to chat just to men please look for men unite®. This year (2020) I have been looking back at my life and I have seen a lot what I never thought anything of. Like from when I was in school I was dealing with anxiety and I didn’t think anything of it. I just thought it was normal and the feeling I had for meeting new people was normal and I never spoke about it when I started to talk to my mum about what I was feeling it made me sound weak and silly, I have also got a bit of a speaks problem’s and I’ve got other small problem’s and my main one is my Dyslexia and with there’s problem’s it made me and my anxiety very bad. I always thought no one will understand me and my feeling’s so I just kept it all bottled up and. in 2010 I saw my dad have a funny do and he was taken to the hospital and we never know what really happened but the doctors say it might be stress and away the body was coping with the stress of moving home and a lot more. He kept it all bottled up and I thought it was the right thing to do. My mum was very open about her feeling’s and told a lot about the stress she was going thought but I still thought I was weak to share my feeling’s. All of my life because I had people telling me I can’t do it. I worked very hard to where I was in 2016 – 2017 and I push myself all the time even on hobbies and stuff what don’t matter. I also like to have everything done right. Back in 2017 – 2018 I started to distance myself from my family & friend’s also work friend’s and started to but myself down and thinking people were against me and I was doing everything wrong when it was not true it was all in my head and in 2018 I gave up and tried to end my life by doing multiple tries to end my life, I was still bottled my feeling’s up and after 5 family/friend’s death’ in just 3 year’s or longer. I just kept on working thought the feeling’s and something in my head clicked and told me to go and jump and end it all. When I was there I was thinking no one will never know why I wanted to end my own life they will never know I died till someone told them they thought I was ok and happy and people told me my life was going good. It was I was doing great but the stress and keeping everything bottled up but a troll on me and my body and mind I stopped eating going home sleeping and a lot more. After trying to end my life and when I was getting the help I still thought asking for help and telling people what is going on in my mind is a weakness and I shouldn’t say my feeling’s because I am a man! People and doctors told me I have got depression. I said you are wrong I am ok I just had a bad year. Because I was in denial of it they couldn’t help me. They told my dad they need him to keep an eye on me and try and help me. The doctors started to but me on tablet’s and because they know I tried to end my life on table’s they kept the coming weekly and when I started to look better they took me off. I started to come back to how I was. In 2019 my mum passed away and that pushed me again and had to go back on the tablet’s and I started to look up my feeling’s and what the tablets are helping me with. Because I was close to my mum it started to puss me to trying to end my own life again. I started to talk to the doctor and tell them more about my feeling’s and they told me this is a good step and a good start. Thay said can I remember 2018 when I thought I don’t have depression and I said yes I know I have depression. They said this is good news and good for me to start to deal with my depression and they said I have also got anxiety. I asked more about it they told me and I thought and said I had it all my life. The way what used to get me thought it doesn’t work anymore they said there is stuff out there what can help you thought this bad time’s in your life, The doctor said sadly I have no time and you have got a set time what I have to give you but their places are great they have more time and people to help you. They said they will call them and they also said grieving makes it very hard to cope with and having depression and having no time to get help for it I might go thought feeling’s what will push me to try to end my life and they but me on a suicide watch list because of the family death and because my sister’s past and my dad going thought the problem’s it’s best to have people daily calling me and allow me to stay with my family they will need you but please remember if I try to end my life call someone or if they feel like I am not coping well they will section me. knowing that! That helped me go and tell my dad and sister and started to use Facebook to tell friend’s what happened and I have depression and to say sorry. My family & Friend’s started to say we thought that. and started to say I will never lose them I said I am going to try and use what I gone thought to help people who are going thought this and I start to see people and the mental health and what people are like when you start to talk about it and share your own story and what you have gone through. I started to make friends and help People just by talking this helped me. So in 2019, I started to read well try to read more about depression and what I can do, If sharing my story is a good thing to do, and here I am now. Telling you this I am not back to how I was I just feel like I am a lot better Persian then what I was back in 2016 – 2017 sadly in 2020 I once again lost everything again and thought the world lockdown I was going through suicide thought and had to go back on tablets and lost my job had to go through a first birthday and mother’s Day and 1st anniversary of her death. One point though the lockdown I had a dream and my mum was there and she said she is so proud of how I have come back from where I was and he is disappointed in how I stopped and I should push thought and thought there’s time people need it more than ever. People might say it a sign but I think so too but I also know it’s my mind telling me and might be a bit of the TV.

So after this, I started to return to chat rooms and started to share what I have gone through the lockdown and started to ask about what people do to try and help themself and others they said blogs are a good way to open up and share your story and it’s also a good way to keep your diary so this is it.

My main goal is to become a gamer on YouTube. But my other goal is to make a legacy in mental health and what I have been thought good thing and not a bad thing I have been thought.

Here is a facebook group called men unite® it’s a very good place to share and talk about your feeling’s I have one but at the moment noone know’s about it it’s called SafeHaven and it’s only on facebook it’s mostly hamed at youtube and everybody woman and men.

In England on the 24/07/20 by low we have to wear a face mask take it by someone who deals with anxiety and a speaks problem and find it hard to talk with out a mask what I find it hard to just go to the car from my home and now I have to wear a mask to go in the shop just for a drink! I understand why. But it’s not going to help,

Sunday the 25/07/20 I needed to go out to Morrisons to get some food and I needed to wear my mask luck I had my dad with me and that help me, But I still had a panic attack and I thought people was looking at me. But what I thought and helped me to get over it and stop thinking of it is others might be thinking the same.

I understand why wear the mask but we have to think of the like wearing clothing because its looking like there’s masks are here to stay. But people with anxiety how we feel. But it’s good everybody has to wear one it help.

If you every have trouble with going through some kind of trouble when you are wearing your mask please remember we are all in the same boat Today “30/07/20” at midnight in Stoke-on-Trent the great people at Men Unite was worried about me! I was on there Facebook group live streaming and out on the street of Kidsgrove trying to get my mind under control! The great lads at the group was great I know I should of called Mental Health Team but I thought they will not understand what is happening so I thought Men Unite is the best. Sadly I didn’t know what to talk about but the good think was they did. They asked what is wong, I’ve got my sister and dad but it’s hard to go to family and ABIT easyr to go to other people, and Men Unite understand what is going on. They might be going through the same or been thought the same. I still don’t know or understand what make me to go like that but I need to find out but I think I will never know. I am so thankful for the group. I know like the police officer said next time call the mental health team. I feel like that will only help my mental health and the group will talk and listen to the other problems like I was talking about this blogs and my business plans. If I was at the team for mental health they will only what to talk about mental health and it’s not that what was on my mind it was everything and thinking I was alone when I wasn’t!

Anxiety feels different for everyone. My story or what I feel might not be right for you but it is for me. I could feel all these physical symptoms building inside me, literally filling every part of my body until I felt completely light-headed and disembodied. Anxiety and physical health problems Some studies suggest that experiencing anxiety could increase the risk of developing certain long-term physical health problems, including diabetes, stomach ulcers and heart problems. But there’s not enough evidence to say for sure exactly what the risks are, or what groups of people are most likely to be affected. Having a physical illness or disability can also make you feel stressed and anxious, so it might sometimes feel like your anxiety problems and physical health problems are part of a vicious circle. Sometimes it might be difficult to work out whether your symptoms are totally related to anxiety, or might be related to a different illness. If you’re experiencing any physical symptoms it’s best to talk to your GP, so they can check out what may be causing them.

Thought my life when I left school. I was teach myself new skills and the skills I couldn’t teach myself I gone college for. I wanted to better myself to show myself I can and others. I tryed to get in the army and failed basic training to my health. I have got dyslexia. I also started to learn photographing and photo editing and also video editing. I drive when I was told I can’t.

Looking at my past now I thought it will help me to keep my mind active and help me to be better. I never knew then but I had Anxiety Symptoms and doing what I did was not helping me it was just making it worse.

I was a local football stewart. Thinking of it now I loved the job but when something gone down I was nervous but I had training to deal with what can happened.

On my driving test I was nervous if I knew what I know now I might of past on my first go.

When I need to go somewhere new I am fine getting there when I am driving there. But when I get there and have to talk to people I am so nervous I can’t speak.

I know it not a good think to do but it helps me out alot. What I do is puss myself to the limit and not look back and but myself in the none comfort zone so I can do what I want in life. I will always but 100% into everything I do.

Time to time I think to myself I am not doing nothing go and in a work place I keep butting myself down and always thought I was doing my job Wong even sometime I asked if I was doing my job wong.

Sometimes I feel like I am no help to noone and a bearden to others.

In a lot of cases I feel like I’m been watched and followed and people are talking about me and how I look. Sometimes I can just kick off and say something. In one case it was close to ge the police in.

I just want to say first of all! The people and place’s I say in this blog was very helpfull and carm and good when I needed them!

27/08/20 Was the start of it all! I woke up in pain and I couldn’t eat/drank or sleep and I called 111 and told them the symptoms and they told me it’s a tooth infection and I need to talk to a emergency dentist and for 2 day’s after calling 111 and the emergency dentist I got no where and 30/08/20 I took this photo to show my following why I am not doing video’s and my private facebook and I said I am going Hospital this was becouse of my stomach pain and the docter’s told me it was becouse of a accidental overdose becouse of waiting for 111 and emergency dentist!

The docter told me sorry can’t give you anymore paracetamol to get rid of the pain only becouse it might kill me! I had to have a drip but in to get rid of the paracetamol’s, What I was taking to wince out the paracetamol made me very unwell and bad. My face was red/hot and got bigger I couldn’t open my eye’s and I started to find it hard to breathe and I found it hard not to scratch my head. I started trying to shout out for a docter and no-one came so I gave up and just left it and then I fount out the next day I had to stay in Hospital and I couldn’t stop sleeping and I started to get the right help but I can’t remember a lot! I know the docter’s was always looking in on me!

03/09/20 I was starting to get over it all the tooth pain was getting easyer I was off the drip and I was going to the emergency dental and when I was there they looked at it and got the dirt what was making my face brow up and it made me very unwell again but they told me it was because I couldn’t stop swaddling the dirt and it was my body getting rid of it for me. I gone home after.

04/09/20 I called my dentist and told them what has gone on and they told me go in on that day and they told me I have to have my tooth out so it stops it happening again they tryed to get it out on the day but they said keep taking them tablets and come 08/09/20 I also got a MOT on the 07/09/20 and my car failed the MOT and I had no car so had to walk.

08/09/20 I got to by dentist at 930am. I had my tooth out at 1000am and was in pain for 6 days before the pain got easyer but this time I could deal with it so I didn’t need to take paracetamol. I was still working and playing on a new video game I had and I started uploading videos and catching up with comments and telling people what happened. Welcome to my come-back to video gaming and youtube gaming also my social media, I started my come-back through the 2020 lockdown after trying to get myself doing stuff and not worrying about my own well-been.

Because of my mental health breakdown I had coming up to 2017 (To know more click here) but because of that and at the time I didn't know I was for 6 year I stopped posting gameplay to youtube and also social media, During the 6 years of being offline on youtube a lot happened and because of not posting for a long time and then started to re-post just gameplay and not saying why I been away for so long, I started to get hatter's, To try and stop it I did a video saying what happened and I am coming back, But still had hatter's so after having the channel for 13 year's I deleted it and started Dudley's Scale Model Car's up and never looked back till now, Been working on that new channel for 2 year's. Because of the come-back of Saints Row and after my 17 year's of gameplay of all the game's going back to the very first one, I thought it will be good to do the same with Hard Worker Gamer after 2 year's off not been a channel there was other channel's but not been used might be fake one's don't know but Hard Worker Gamer is part of Dudley's NetWork because of the owner but it's nothing to do with it. I am coming back this month what is/was 2022 July playing the very first Saints Row on my XBox Series S using a Elgato hd60 S+ to get the gameplay to edited using Sony Vegas Pro 22 and using Canva, I am lucky with moving house I found all the stuff from when I did my Upgrades in 2015 but never started gaming I even build my PC and never used it to the full gaming, But for now the gaming tool's I have are good for the job, The come-back for Hard Worker Gamer will allow me to restart the name, I am going to upload video's daily at 12 in the morning and daily even in the weekend, I might also have help of my dad with streaming but might not never be streaming, But there will always be Video's, The Gameplay will be pre-recorded because of my main channel. I came-back with Saints Row because I feel the game is fun to play, 17 year's of gameplay and my old channel was best on Saints Row and having 600 video's and 13 year's on YouTube, My goal is to come-back and have fun and only post gameplay no Commentary, Also grow back up with Saints Row, I will also be blogging Saints Row and others games I play. You are welocome to share your story but no hate this took me a long time to share this. Mental Health is a big thing

Thank you Daniel Dudley

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